Cortez, Pilar

Is there still a double standard regarding sexual activitiy of boys versus girls? Do teenagers still talk in terms of "Nice girls" versus "malandi girls"? Why is there no male counterpart to a "malandi"?

In my opinion, naturally, almost everyone has been called "malandi" many times over later in life since it is already in our filipino culture to say it to a person who is not that conservative and kinda vain without really connoting its' intended meaning which is being flirt. Based on my interview to some random people, they verbalized that they were called flirt in case to case scenarios with the following verbalizations: "I was called flirt when my boobs grew faster than others"; "I was called flirt when I had a boyfriend";"" I was called flirt when I had the nerve to talk about sex";" I was called a flirt when I wore a bikini on a weekend trip with high school friends". It seems the word flirt can be applied to any activity that doesn't include knitting, praying, or sitting perfectly. Nice girls as its' counterpart is the opposite of these, who are more of a traditional filipina type of girl.

On the other hand you rarely hear the word "malandi" in relation to men. Sure, someone will occasionally call a guy "flirt," but men simply aren't judged like women are when it comes to sexuality. (And if they are, they're judged in a positive way!) According to an article i read "The only messages put forward about guys' sexuality is the idea that their urges are uncontrollable, and it's up to the ladies not to 'tease' them" since they generally become aroused less easily. They are in a good position to help young men learn balance in relationships by keeping intimacy in perspective." On my opinion, i guess it is already known to us ladies that this is a fact.

But it makes sense when you think about what the purpose of the word "malandi" is: controlling women through shame and humiliation. Women's bodies are always the ones that are being vied over for control -- whether it's rape, reproductive rights, or violence against women, it's our bodies that are the battleground, not men's.

In addition to it, does any of you heard about purity balls? These promlike events basically have fathers take their daughters to a big fancy dance where they promise their daddy their virginity, which is practice in U.S. Likewise, the father promises to be the "keeper" of his daughter's virginity until he decides to give it to her future husband. Where are the Purity Balls for men, you ask? Actually none, although there is a so called integrity ball, wherein sons get to take their mothers out for an evening of fine dining and fun, while reinforcing that young men should remain abstinent until marriage. Not because men need to be pure or be virgins -- but because they need to make sure women are virgins, i suppose. hehe!